“A pair of deep dark brown eyes have the power to send me into a self-imposed box of nihilistic stream of consciousness, casting me into depths of despair from which salvation by my own means would trigger nothing but amplified infamy. Drifting somewhere between moral virtue and obscene hedonism, my pursuit of a systematic and consistent way is proven once again futile. My illusory self continues therefore to elude me.”
◆~~~
“Walking on the lightless bridge, touching the clouds of a skyless night asserting its dominance on a tranquil ambience among green crescents. The few drops of rain touching my face remind me to ask myself once again why was I spawned in this particular corner of the Universe. Doubting all those series of events compelled me to do absolutely nothing about it. Nothing but light a cigarette and carry on with my steps through the sublime cosmic darkness. Oh, how I love to morph with the oblivion.”
◆~~~
“In my days as a teacher, every single outcast, stigmatized and eccentric student approached me and opened up about personal problems, day to day difficulties and dilemmas. After the first contact, we almost instantly knew that we shared a sense of peculiar madness. We took comfort in this interpersonal delight.”
◆~~~
“Whenever someone with whom I constantly keep in touch brings up the idea of introducing me to another human being, I ask without hesitation: is that individual mental in any way? Does the person possess any form of social abnormality or anything deemed as equivocal?
As I advance in age, I’m struck more and more by the realization that I ought not to waste my limited time on normies or any base character, no matter how offensive I may appear by admitting this.”
◆~~~
“I was sleeping in a bunk bed and right above my head, at an arms distance from my face, was a fan without any protection or carcass on the propeller. My immediate thought was the idea of me leaping out in my sleep and thrusting my head right into the spinning thing, getting it chopped once and for all. And the idea of the first witness to assert my headless state early in the morning made me drift with ease into the depths of the unawake. Why this obsession with chaos, I wonder?”
◆~~~
“I wish nobody would ever be told about their date of birth. With every birthday, as the years go by, we are reminded of the transient nature of things, acknowledging once again that we’re here only in visit, and that with every unit of time our end comes closer. Being conscious of the beginning automatically triggers the thought of its opposite. Oscillating between the two, one stops enjoying the instant lying between history and the forthcoming. Unaware of your starting point, you also stop pondering on the eventual epilogue of your own saga.”
◆~~~
“A mundane event devoid of any importance has the power to make me hope. Life can still be surpassed and Nietzsche’s idea of a superhuman was not just a whim in his fit of madness.”
◆~~~
“When I found myself in the position of a high school teacher, I would sometimes pause whatever subject matter I was supposed to show the students and tell them stories which revolved around my junk consumption. That is when they realized that every single penny their parents were paying for their education had been well spent.”
◆~~~
“I’m in a place many would deem as paradise. Temples, green untouched nature and smiles dominate the scene, all under a blanket of tranquility. Yet still, for some unknown reason, I read some of the darkest and most sombre literature, as I sit under a large dense canopy which overlooks the quiet river.”
◆~~~
“Every single time I venture to a new corner of the world, I aim, among other things, to get totally smashed with locals, in local fashion. And every time I fail to do so, I feel as if I downgraded myself from the eclectic traveler to the base everyday tourist.”
◆~~~
“A university professor I befriended back in the Balkans lived in a flat building right next to the railway. He told me that he got so used to hearing train noises and other types of commotion every night that he wouldn’t fall asleep without any sort of sound of industrial chaos or abrupt machinery movement. I wish I had neighbors like that so I could crank up my stereo at night.”
◆~~~
“After all these years, I still fancy eating and smoking on the pavement as I did in my days of a dirty hippie. All this while adopting the composure of a silent observer of the surrounding motion. I still regard this as one of the most authentic and productive forms of activity.”
◆~~~
“Blazing hurricane outside. Fading light of dawn casually breaking into my abode. A second passes. Then a minute. Then an hour. With every time unit vanquished another shadow of my previous self is cast away into the past’s oblivion. And so many selves are getting ready, waiting for their being, craving evermore for their moment while frozen in non-consciousness.”
◆~~~
“Forever obsessed with reaching heights. Climbing summits or viewpoints just to look into the distance indefinitely. Watch an endless horizon where no human structure dares to obstruct nature’s simplicity. The broader the distance, the higher my detachment from everyday self-imposed engagements and their assorted subject matters which should be nothing but a matter of indifference.”