I want to talk a little bit about cheese. This isn’t any story or riddle with some hidden meaning or any epistle dedicated to something or someone in particular, except maybe to cheese a little bit. I simply felt like talking about cheese. There are a few great things in this crazy world we’re living and to me one of them is undoubtedly cheese. So sooner or later, among other aspects of existence, cheese needs to be mentioned in my writings and not just once.
When an European like me finds himself living for years in a row on the Eastern side of the South East Asian corner of the world one thing that gets deeply missed is cheese. And while cheese does exist here and can be found in different places, at a big price obviously, it just doesn’t feel the same. There are 99 orgasmic feeling foods in South East Asia that, with every bite, will make you simulate a trip to Heaven and back. But cheese isn’t one of them. And for someone who grew up in a land where cheese is used in almost every single damn dish, a nostalgia for cheese can be found from time to time.
I like to talk about cheese with my dear fellow Asians. I told them about cheese coming in so many ways, shapes and forms and how people from different countries had legit disputes on which cheese is better. Italians and French especially can find themselves on the brink of a guerilla warfare simply because each claims that their cheese in particular would be the greatest. And I would stand on the side, watching all these arguments while enjoying both cheeses simultaneously.
Cheese became such a thing that throughout history people dedicated their lives to this sacred craft. And with each generation more interesting and subtle ways had been discovered to give a new taste, a new texture, a new mix, and for crying out loud even a new smell! It became ridiculous sometimes but for what was worth, every single anomaly and eccentricity was excused for at the end the concept of cheese would reach once again a whole new stage from which a whole new production line would begin an uninterrupted manufacturing saga. A merry go round for the new cheese would step into the game.
Cheese is also something of a religion in itself. There are people that consider a sin if one eats the wrong cheese with the wrong wine or champagne. Certain foods call for certain cheese types and so do the drinks. Whoever fails to acknowledge these subtitles is labelled a barbarian lowlife peasant and is thus frowned upon for the rest of his life. For the great sin that the person had just committed cannot be excused lightly and the cheese code would sometimes demand that this person get sent down into the deepest dungeon to rot and eventually succumb alongside other cheese sinners. Or maybe not. But you get the point. In some circles cheese can become a really serious manner.
But enough technicalities. No matter the social layer where some people belong, cheese will oftentimes be an item to be celebrated and yearned for. Cheese is a way of love. For many of us, no matter how bad the work was, how gypped we got by some card played the wrong way or some dice rolled with closed eyes by the invisible hand of some wicked rat, the fact that we can still enjoy some cheese brings comfort in our twisted existence.
I don’t mind living days and days without cheese but I know that one day when I will really crave for cheese, there will be a way to find it. And that’s good enough for me. It brings a weird sense of peace knowing this. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m also mental, who knows? But I believe that many people will agree with this text. Maybe some will feel like adding that extra cheese on whatever they’re having for dinner. But overall I’m glad to live in a world with cheese. If we ever fuck up this planet so badly that we have to get our asses in space shuttles and try reenacting this whole humanity thing once again in God knows what orbits out there, I hope there will be a few cheese masters part of this project. And some Vietnamese top chefs too. And Italian ones. A few Mexicans ones should be good too. That’s all we’d need foodwise I reckon. A place with Vietnamese, Mexican and Italian restaurants coexisting in perfect harmony and a big cheese shop to rule them all, bind them, catch them, forever to smile at them.
I want to go even as far as to propose Cheese as an unifying cult once we rebuild this world far far away across the cosmic oblivion. Just imagine it. Pray to the Cheese! Cheese is real, it’s always there, lying on some counter in some aisle. Cheese loves you, even if you might be lactose intolerant. To Cheese it doesn’t matter. The cheese temple can be anything you want. Cheese doesn’t ask for pictures or statues or any of that lavish homage. Cheese doesn’t ask you to be anything. You can be the worst person ever and Cheese will still love you. Cheese doesn’t want to change anything in you. Cheese just wants you to be YOU. Or in other words, Cheese just wants you to simply BE. That’s how I envision the Cheese cult. Live and let live. And eat (with or without cheese, doesn’t matter.)